A Shamanic Journey ~

I walk in the fields of waving grass. The grass is so tall you can see each individual gust of wind race across it in waves on its way to infinity. I wonder what this place would look like in winter ~ and so it is. The gently waving sea of grass is replaced by an unblemished mirror of white. I walk in wonder in my new playground. It is as if I had never been here before.

She is here ~ my guide; my friend, my everything. She leads me to a new place, a place of gentle seclusion. It is a small; quiet, frozen pond hidden in a tiny valley. The walls that surround this place seem to go up forever, making it an island unto itself.

I go out onto the ice ~ in this place, I can do anything. I skate as if I am worthy of a world class competition. I can't fail. After a few minutes, I go to her and we skate in perfect harmony. It is if we have practiced all our lives.

When the skating is done, I hug her. I know that there is work to be done and lessons learned but I don't want the moment to end. All too soon, it does.

I ask the deadly question: "What do I need to learn today?"

She points to a place just behind me. Sitting on a rock, in infinite beauty, is an angel. Her light softly illuminates the space around her. I don't know what else to do. I take her hand and kiss it, as if she were a princess and I, her champion knight.

Again, I ask the deadly question: "What do I need to learn today?"

The angel begins to speak but I can't hear what she is saying. Again, she tries to speak but it is as if soundproof glass is between us. I cannot hear a word. Finally, the angel shows me the lesson I must learn ~ it is what many a witch learns to utter upon entering a circle: "In perfect love and perfect trust."

The angel wraps herself around me. I cannot put it any other way. In this, I feel completely safe. Protected. Loved. But it isn't enough. The angel melds with me. Now, I am engulfed and enfolded within the angel ~ and I have never felt anything such as this. Waves of pure love and devotion greater than anything I have ever experienced wash over me. I am overwhelmed. I want to cry, simply from the force of what I am feeling.

Soon, the angel separates herself from me. In a way, I am sad. I want to be forever wrapped in that...force. The love. The devotion. Before I can get too morose, the angel hugs me tight.

Before I realize what is happening, my feet leave the ground. I can't see anything ~ the angel is still holding me tightly to her chest, as a mother cradling a small child. All I know is that we're going up.

In a matter of seconds, I feel us land on what feels like 'solid' ground and she lets me go. We are standing in something that seems to be out of a dream. I see a floor, made of some unidentifiable material, stretching out as far as I can see. There are no walls, the room is open to the universe ~ there are galaxies gently spinning in the distance. Directly in front of me are a series of steps and four pillars, two to each side.

I hear the angel speak for the first time.

"You have come to know the feminine side of god and you continue to struggle with the male side of god. Now meet the All - the source of god!"

The angel points toward the pillars. All I can see is a massive, golden glowing oval. I feel as if it is the only way I can see it. I am awestruck at what I am seeing. Could this really be the All? The source...of everything?

I slowly climb the steps the lead to the Source. The angel doesn't stop me ~ until I begin getting too close. The angel yells to me that I mustn't get close without invitation as I climb upon the top step and stretch out my hand to touch the oval. I must know. I have to know.

I am startled when my hand doesn't encounter anything. I stumble and I end up stepping through and into.

Suddenly, I am encountering everything there is. I am the tallest tree and the smallest cell. I am the earth; the wind, the rain and the raging fire. I am Mother Earth, I am the sky. I am male. I am female. I am the dying star. I am both the sperm and the egg as new life begins. I AM.

Gently, I feel the touch of the angel on my arm. I am guided out of the Source and into the angel's arms. I am almost numb from the experience. I simply let the angel hold me tight. I can't do anything else.

The angel brings me back to the beginning, to the pond and I come home.