Moon Phase = Somewhere 'round newWeather = Sunny, Cool and
comfortable. Finally. 		Current reading = Excerpts from Initiations, Human and Solar by Alice Bailey
Quote: "Desire, Ask, Believe, Receive."
Stella Terrill Mann

September 23, 1998

I knew there was something I forgot in yesterday's entry. It bears quite heavily on what's been going on with myself too...

E. explained something that I never even thought to ask about. All this stuff (read - crap) that has been coming up lately is a result of using the things I've learned at SHA. Different color and sounds bring up different stuff. In my case - a lot of blue stuff is coming up - dealing with the emotions and especially the feelings of abandonment and sadness.

She also said that there is one important thing we must get - we must learn to be completely independent. Care for ourselves in all ways and not have someone else do it for us. Once we get that down then we have to learn to be inter-dependent.

I suppose that has been the ultimate lesson in this situation that I've found myself in. I have to learn to be completely independent. I have never been completely independent - I've always had someone there. Momma, C.M...there's nothing wrong with it, up to a point.

This is even a difficult topic to write about for some reason. That irritates me to no end - this is something that is good and what I need and yet, here I go pining and whatnot in such a whiney, stereotypical way...which is probably another lesson in itself - learning to accept everything about myself and being well and good because it is just that - mine.

I re-read Mary SummerRain's Bittersweet the other night. I was struck by the similiarities between her situation when the book was written and my situation now (which was brewing pretty when I first bought the book, I just didn't want to see it). I suppose I was drawn to read it again to illustrate that I'm not alone. I'll make it.

Oh yeah - one of the kittens earned a name. Jean Claude (Clawd??). Little did I know how well this would fit him...he's got the same attitude as the person I named him after. He's even got the some of same moves - jumping, chasing, climbing...Maybe I should re - name, if for nothing more than to see if it would calm him down!

Now I'm going to go - I'm going to cyber - attend a perhaps once in a lifetime event...a chat with...BETTIE PAGE!!!!!!!!!! I want to be her when I grow up...lol.


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