October 1, 2000

No special fonts on this entry ~ got too much to write and I need the room.

Last day of the Olympics and the Individual Show Jumping finals. Hopefully, they'll show more than three horses this time. They made me so mad on the team 3 day eventing ~ only showed about three or four riders in the finals of both cross country and show jumping. The dressage events were only on cable ~ makes me want to scream! LOL

(Just for the record ~ they showed the entire final round and the jump off. The Netherlands got gold and silver with Saudi Arabia getting bronze. The heavy favorite ~ and surprise medalist from the Atlanta games ~ was eliminated after refusing a jump 3 times. That definitely was shocking, considering that this horse was called the 'Superhorse' for his incredible height over jumps...and I still want to scream!)

I went got a load of creek rock for the walkway yesterday ~ how long has it been since I worked on it? 6 months? A year? In any case, I'm ready for the week ahead...I think. It's the reading deprivation week in the Artist's Way...I hope that journals aren't included in that. I want to be able to journal!

I have some news about Pup ~ he's not the only one missing. Three other dogs are missing too: the wolf dog; a dalamation and another dog that is owned by the same person as the dalmation. They all turned up missing on the same day, Monday, after they were all seen together walking and playing together with my mom and Bobby.

Pup has pretty much made it clear that he was my mom's dog ~ after all, even though he belonged to the neighbors, he stayed with her 99% of the time. She even fed him. When I asked her what she was going to do about him being missing, you know what she said? "Well, what can I do? He wasn't my dog." After all of that ~ after Pup has stayed with her for nearly 6 months and relied on her to feed him and generally be his 'person', she's going to let him down like this. I can't believe she is actually going to do this but I guess it's a pattern with her now. She told me once that she didn't do anything about the situation with my uncle because she thought that his wife ~ her sister ~ wouldn't ever talk to her again. I'm about ready not to talk to her if she doesn't get up and start doing something!


A dream ~

I am standing in front of a mirror, looking inside my mouth. I see a small black hole near the base of my lower left canine ~ a cavity. I decide that I'd better get to the dentist right away but as I look, I see that the next four teeth next to the canine are nearly completely gone ~ they are not much more than black stumps. I see that many of my teeth are going bad and I start brushing them right away.

I am still brushing as I find myself on a motorcycle in the middle of a city street, stopped at a traffic light. I am in a hurry to get to wherever I'm going.

C.M. and I are now dropping the motorcycle off at Brian's place. I still have a mouth full of toothpaste and don't want to be rude, so I step to the corner of the building to spit it out. The motorcycle actually belongs to 'Dan', who is very nearly a motorcycle guru and can supposedly fix anything. I ask C.M. about it and he says that the (I can't remember the word used in the dream) is cracked.

We are now inside Brian's house ~ and somehow, he has acquired my old childhood home and has kept it in it's original condition. We are standing in the dining room when he shows me some rock crystal and other stones that he has collected and tells me that there is more to look at in the attic. The stones look as if they may have been limestone with coral fossils in them ~ except each stone is in a different color ~ black, red, pink. I on go up into the attic and feel as if I've walked into a room of lost memories.

I start crying as I look at the amount of stuff I see here ~ my entire Breyer horse collection, displayed on a multiple display racks; many books that I had even forgotten that I had owned at one time or another. I look at the book case and there is the entire Earth's Children series ~ minus Clan of the Cave Bear. the entire attic is nearly stuffed with relics of my life. I look around me in amazement and wonder, "Where did he find all this stuff??"


I'm not quite sure how to interpret this dream just yet. What is there that I'd rather lose my teeth over than actually deal with? What does the toothpaste mean? Cleansing? Man ~ what a difficult dream!

I know that the house is actually my body and the attic is my mind ~ evidently, it is the memory. Brian has made himself a caretaker ~ so he is actually the part of me that carries the memories and perhaps it was time for me to remember something? Perhaps some of the happy times of my childhood? Perhaps even to remember how to play? Hopefully it will come to me...







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