Yesterday was unique. After not seeing hide nor hair of him since January, my dad just shows up out of nowhere. The first thing I asked was, "What are you doing here?" As usual, I thought that someone had died or was in the hospital or some crap. That seems to be prevailing reason for getting in touch with me.

I wish I could say that I whaled on his ass or threw him out or something. Instead, I did a very...well, damned female thing. I felt so overwhelmed by so many things that I just started crying. I was angry that he just showed up after so long; I was embarrassed and ashamed of how wrecked the house was, hopelessness that nothing is going to change in its current state and more anger when Wunnerboy (C.M.) just gave me that blank stare when I tried to explain why I was falling apart. Oh yeah, this is a sane picture.

My dad tried to tell me that he didn't call because he couldn't remember whether it was best to call after 12 noon or 12 midnight. Yeah, it's plausible...but still sounds like a damned piss poor excuse to me. My only response was, "What does it matter? I've got an answering machine!" I just don't understand how someone can just go for months and/or years without keeping in touch with their child - even adult children.

I went ahead and gave him my ideas for the horse farm as well. I'm still torn on that idea, especially after talking to him yesterday. Whenever the subject came up, it was what he was going to do, what he wanted, he, he, he.

Selfish bastard.

This man doesn't even feel like a father a lot of the time. He strikes me as being some guy that pops up out of the ethers every now and then who I have somewhat of a friendship with. Someone who has hurt me very much, yet I continue to forgive. Gee, that sounds familiar - sounds like Wunnerboy too.

On better notes - the NAIA pow-wow is the 15th and 16th this year. I can't wait! The Drachenburg Renaissance Faire is the last three weeks this month - and it's not even ten minutes away!! Perhaps I can get L. and M.M. to go too - I think it'll be great! There's supposed to be sword fights (staged, but hey...); and things from Renaissance Germany and Ireland. Like I said...I can't wait!!