Moon Phase = There's a full Harvest
Moon today! 		Weather = breezy, partly cloudy...sacredCurrent reading = A Dresser of Sycamore Trees - Garrett Keizer
Book - Whoopi Goldberg
Quote: "Get in where you in."
- 'Alton'
Found scratched into the cement at a picnic shelter in Edwin Warner Park, Nashville

October 6, 1998

I actually had a topic all set to go for this entry...but, as it usually is, another one is at the forefront of my mind.

I had a sobering moment on the road tonight - just a few miles away from the house, a deer jumped in front of the car...I don't know if she kicked the car as I passed or if I actually grazed her. All truth be told when I thought that there was no way to miss her...I shut my eyes. I couldn't bear to see it happen. After I heard the impact (whichever way it occurred) I backed up to see if I could see her but she was no where to be seen. When I got into the driveway, I just sat and sent healing energy - and tons of heartfelt apologies.

I don't know if I would have been able to live with myself, at least for a while, if I had hit that deer. There are few enough around here. If it had been the albino doe...then there would be no question. I would be absolutely shattered.

I also went out to get my diskette box out of the car but I ended up going out into the neighbor's field and skywatching. Orion stalked his quarry in and out of the clouds as Jupiter and the full Harvest Moon shone in their half of the sky.

While I sat there, watching the clouds go by, I realized something - this is the first time in Goddess knows how long that I felt absolutely free. All that existed at the moment was me; the sky above, crickets singing on the earth below and the wind blowing through my hair. Part of me was peaceful and part of me was full of sadness. Sad that I was the only one enjoying it. Appreciating it. Loving it.

My thoughts are all jumbled up right now. It's somewhere around 4 a.m...perhaps after some sleep, they'll be clearer.

Later -

It's sometime after 9 p.m. I don't know if my thoughts are any less jumbled...I suppose we'll see.

There is a so-called 'special' on ABC that I quit watching after about ten or fifteen minutes. It was the usual 'Let expose the truth about the not-so-super-natural' biased crap. Right from the get-go the statement was made, "It's o.k. when kids believe in the make-believe but when it's adults believing it..." They even brought the great friend to skeptics everywhere - James Randi. I can't believe that this was even allowed to air, I can only hope that people who actually watch that tripe can see it for what it is.

This kind of show really irritates me. (Gee, could you tell?) It is the stupid, unaware crap that only those whose hearts, minds and eyes are closed can produce...and use to try to convince everyone else that they are right. When I tuned out, James Randi had just finished talking about Uri Geller (when will he leave that chestnut alone??) and how he has $1,000,000 in the bank just waiting for someone to prove that they can do something 'supernatural'. Never mind the fact that he had just that chance to put his money where is mouth is - and he wouldn't do it. Art Bell challenged the not-so-amazing Randi to test a remote viewer (was it Ed Dames? I think so.), he came up with the excuse that the test couldn't be 'scientifically measured' on the radio...so Art told Mr. Randi that he could set the test up any way he saw fit and it was refused. Ah well...I suppose he just didn't want to have to hand over his money - and his reputation.

I noticed that they were specifically going after the so-called 'alternative' religions and such - voundoun (voodoo to the great unwashed), astrology, fire walking...and not one mention of the so-called 'supernatural' stuff in mainstream religion. I think I'll get off this soapbox for a while...

Going back to the deer episode...

I really got to thinking when I got back to the house - specifically about the little debate I found myself in a few months ago about hunting. It all started with a question - a relative wants to take your 13 year old child hunting. Do you let your child go?

I answered this question from experience - yes. That is exactly how old I was when I went hunting with my grandfather. I went rabbit, squirrel and deer hunting. I got one squirrel...and I felt guilty for taking that life unnecessarily. I wasn't hungry. I wasn't starving. The grocery store was well stocked...but I am glad for the experience. I know how to do it if need be. It also made me aware of how precious life really is, even though I forget that fact in the face of everyday stuff. All that flooded back to me this morning. Granted, the whole thing was a case of exordinary bad timing but the point was made. Life, any life, is precious.

I think I'm going to journey a while...perhaps under the moonlight. Good night, Sweetie.


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