November 16, 2000

Man - what a day.

  • First, I get a mental flash, quite like a broadcast message - "Light warriors! Consider yourselves on notice! Your time is near." This message did not sound encouraging. In fact, it didn't sound like one from the 'light' side at all.
  • Second, on the way home, I get the urge to stop for food. I argue with myself, knowing that I can have whatever I want at home. It gets to the point where I can hear a little voice saying, "Go on, you know you're hungry and you've been wanting to try this (a chicken tender sandwich from Burger King) for a while now..." So I stop.
  • Continuing on my way home, I come upon a fairly bad car wreck - both cars were knocked off the road and it looked as if they hit nearly head on. If I had been just a few minutes earlier, I would have been in the wreck. I stayed on the scene for several minutes - no police arrive, despite calls being made.
  • I end up going back to town - and to the police station. They act like I don't know what I'm talking about and seem to take their sweet time about checking the wreck out. I hope they finally got there. I didn't even see a state trooper heading that way until I was within sight of the house ~ a good 20 minutes later.
  • I spent a good deal of the rest of the night in the Dragon's Rest chat room - I needed to be around good friends (as much as one can in a chatroom.) and just decompress. It was a good thing. I'm also not ashamed to say that I'm glad that this day is nearly over - there was a bit too much excitement in it.

















Dreaming of
Robert Smith

An interesting ~ and telling ~ dream:

I am in a large city - right in the downtown district. It is a bright, sun shiny day and there is vivid color everywhere ~ in the shop windows; fliers everywhere and in general. There is a fairly large brick house in a neighborhood not far from downtown. I find Robert Smith in this house with several other people. I am fascinated by him (hell, I am in waking life! LOL) and the ethereal quality he and the others with him seem to have. I want and need to be near and around him.

I leave the house briefly, during which time everyone else leaves. I soon discover that Robert and the others are indeed not of this world and must keep moving in order to not be discovered. I search everywhere I can for them ~ I am nearly frantic to find Robert. I finally find a shop downtown where someone is warily willing to help me find him. One is a guy who sells all kinds of spineless (thornless) cacti and occasionally pops one in his mouth and eats it. Neither guy really seems too eager to come into contact with Robert.

We decide that the best way to find Robert is to 'call' him to us. We decide to set up and jam in the shop window. The three of us try to work up some songs but it doesn't work ~ they want to play very safe, old songs and I can't stand it. I begin to let loose on the guitar ~ I'm even missing frets and strings, yet I have never played so well, it sounds ethereal. I lose myself in the music.

I take a break from playing and walk back into the store. I am standing near the back when a tall; older, gray headed, chubby, not-very-handsome-at-all man walks up to me and begins to talk to me about my guitar playing. I suddenly realize that it's Robert's voice coming out of this man's mouth. I am a little disappointed.

This dream was a good lesson to myself. The town is literally myself with all the people being thoughts running all over the place and the buildings are different parts of me. Robert, in this case, represents my creativity and how I view it at the moment. I chase it around and round, thinking it is a very ethereal and elusive thing. I look everywhere for it but never find it ~ and parts of me aren't too eager to find it. They want to go on being their usual, unaware selves. It isn't until I begin playing and fooling around that I find it ~ I literally call the creativity to me. It may not be in the same form that I hope and wish for, it may not even be 'pretty', but it is creativity nevertheless.

I still don't know why Dude was eating the cacti, though.


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