Moon Age = 16 daysMoon Phase = heading toward waning gibbousWeather = Cold - heading toward
13 degrees		Current reading = The Vampire Lestat - Anne Rice
Quote:"We interrupt our afternoon movie, "Godzilla vs. Intelligence" for this special report..."
- Honey I Shrunk the Kids - the tv show

January 3, 1999

Gods, it's so strange to type those three nines...

The last two days have been busy and fun - I went out with C.M. on New Year's and yesterday I finally got to go back online after a full week...I was starting to go through withdrawal. I had several things that I needed to do online and none of them got done - I joined two chats. I got to chat away with those in the Artist Grove and with a group that was mostly Mystic Maidens with a few others mixed in. That last chat lasted for hours...gods, I am so addicted...

We talked about everything in that last chat - self - initiation vs. group initiation; dreams, sexuality...Z. spoke again about the Dark Path...it was very interesting.

I am surprised about the cyber - and non-cyber - company that I frequently find myself in. A great deal of the people tend to be either bisexual or gay. I like what one woman said yesterday - that she prefers 'bi-sensual' because it's not so much about sex but the emotions and feelings involved. I think that says it very well.

So, let's ask the big question - am I? This is a question I've wrestled with ever since I began this journal. It's the topic that I would go away and write about in my offline journal because of the opinions that certain people who may read this journal hold - and the reactions that they may have. It is the question I didn't dare tackle online because of the fear of being ostrasized by family. Now...I don't care so much. It's my life not theirs. I'm not the one with the problem if they think they can run (or ruin) my life.

Truth is - I am very open to the idea. I don't think that I qualify as lesbian because I like men a little too much. lol - that must be one of the oldest lines in the book. I have been very hesitant to acknowledge this part of myself though - simply because the idea of being 'labeled' is kind of frightening to me. It doesn't really seem like a big part of my life - but other people tend to see it otherwise. It's very strange - suddenly, you become one of 'those people'.

Like the woman said yesterday - it isn't so much about sex for me. Sex is nothing more than...well, sex. Anybody can do it. Love is so much more - everything is involved: heart, mind, soul. It also transcends gender and goes to the very essence of what and who we are. It isn't wrong - how can love be wrong?

Well - it's getting cold again. It's supposed to be around 13 tonight and 9 tomorrow and my toes are freezing again. I think I'll call it a night. Sleep well, Sweetie.


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