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February 17, 2000 Word(s) of the day: Aboriculture: n [2arbor + -i- + culture] : the cultivation of trees and shrubs esp. for ornament anarchism: n1 : a political theory holding all forms of governmental authority to be unnecessary and undesirable and advocating a society based on voluntary cooperation and free association of individuals and groups 2 : the advocacy or practice of anachistic principles. I've been playing with the idea of adapting that description of anarchism to fit my ideas about religion lately. It wouldn't take much ~ pretty much, all you'd have to do is sustitute spiritual for governmental. Actually, once you think about it ~ isn't that the very description of the Craft itself? Come of your own free will...yep, I think we can be a pretty anarchic bunch!
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I feel as if I've been constantly running with no time to sit and think, let alone do much online journaling. About the only journaling I've been able to do is a few pages while I've been in the laundry or in the lobby of the Mazda dealership, waiting for the oil to be changed in the truck. I have managed to paint a bit here and there as well ~ mostly from midnight to 5 in the morning. I've begun a painting of a 'possum and it's been flowing wonderfully well. Next, I've decided that I am going to do a piece with the Kanji (japanese writing) symbol for 'tiger' but I don't know if it will be paint or pencil yet.
I've had a bit of surprising news on the depression front. Teach says that it is a by ~ product of the training. Now she tells me! We're going to have to step up our contact for a while because of it.
Something happened yesterday that I'm not too sure about. I know that I'm not the smartest tool in the shed when it comes to innuendo - or the lack thereof - but the more I think about it, the more I'm certain that I don't want to be in this situation.
I was asked by an acqaintance yesterday to see that horrid movie (granted, it wasn't as bad as Wild, Wild West but geez...). I treated it as just that ~ two friends going to a movie. I began to wonder just what was going on later though ~ he paid for the movie; he bought me a book ( Robert Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land) when we stopped at MediaPlay...and something was mentioned about coming over to his house this weekend. Rum was mentioned. Being alone was mentioned. The fact that neither of us have had sex in a while was implied. A phone number was given ~ he wanted me to call tonight to set it up.
Can you say, "Hell NO!!!"
I find this whole turn of events unpalatable. I just can't put myself into that situation. Even if I was the remotest bit attracted to this person, I wouldn't do it and let me tell you right now, I cannot find the the beginnings of attraction within myself. He just ain't my flavor. (What is my flavor could be an entry unto itself ~ that's an idea...) Besides that, the idea of sex for sex's sake (did that even make sense?) is repellent to me. You just don't throw energy like that away.
Of course, I find myself trying to get on the guilt train for not calling ~ if only to explain that I won't be coming over. I probably should...except that I know when the word 'should' pops up in your vocabulary, it means that the old programming is trying to take over.
Besides ~ I'm not the Ice Queen for nothing. This situation stops here and now.
Fini.
