Moon Phase = new, moving
toward crescent | Weather = humid
"I'm melting...melllllltingggggg..." | Current Book = Lucid Dreaming in 30 Days - Dr. Keith Harary and Pamela Weintraub
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June 25, 1998
3:30 a.m. and thoughts turn to the Goddess...
For many years, I struggled with my image of - and identification with - the Goddess. I had no clear concept of Her. I suppose I suffered from information overload in my quest to find Her - I read everything I could get my hands on about Her. Greek, Norse, Celtic, South American...it didn't matter.
I decided to work with one particular goddess - Epona. She was a great choice - She is 'in charge' of horses, horsepeople, dreams, warfare...and many, many other things. She soon became my patron.
I soon discovered that spells and simple reverence just didn't cut it for me - I needed more. I learned about path-working and later, shamanism. In shamanism, I didn't have to speak and hope that my words were heard - I could go directly to Her and vice versa. Suddenly, the Goddess was very real.
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Excerpt from a journey, Mar. 5, 1998
...{My power animal} and I walk into the temple. We're in the room with the permanent circle on the floor and the fire pits. I walk into the circle and consider casting a full circle, knowing full well that all I have to do is point. I don't though. I light a fire instead and walk into it.
I kneel down as the fire engulfs me, as if I am knowingly going to my death. In a sense, I am. I rise up, still engulfed in fire, as the old, useless parts of me are burned away. As the last bits burn, lightning comes down and strikes me - flowing from head to right foot; up to left hand, across to the right, down to left foot and back up to my head - forming a pentagram with my body. I raise my arms over my head and I rise out of the fire, expanding and becoming a part of...everything.
First, as I rise, I expand and become a part of the atmosphere. I encircle the earth and watch her spin beneath me. Next I grow even more and become a part of space, 'exploding' and 'scattering' as I do. I realize that although I am a part of all creation, there is still one who is 'bigger' than me: I turn and see the Great Goddess. She gathers me up, holds me to herself and comforts me as a mother would a small child. She opens what appears to be a small door on my chest and puts a bit of herself in. "Don't worry about feeling it. You will in time," she says. She lets me go and sends me back.
I am again standing in the circle.
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Hail Lady, full of grace, the God is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb - the Consort and Son. Holy Goddess, Mother of Earth, work your mysteries for your children, now and in our time of need. So mote it be.
Sweet Goddess, lend me clarity. Help me cut through all the junk and get to the diamond that is Truth. Help to me speak that Truth without hesitation. Dear Lady, help me to stand on my own again, for I seem to have forgotten. These things I ask. So mote it be.
(Prayer of Gabriel (Hail, Lady, full of grace...) by Silver RavenWolf.)
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