August 16, 2000

Ah man - dreams are such interesting things, aren't they? These are a culmanation (I hope!) of dreams that I've had for the last three nights. People coming at me with knives: I'm stuck in a house that turns into a toy shop as a former friend chases me with a long dirk. It seems that he is mad at me and wants to finish me off once and for all. I can't find the way out either. Dreams of people trying to rape me but I fight them off...then there are last night's dreams...

I didn't really mean for this to become strictly a dream journal! Honest!

You know, things tend come out in dreams that you try to avoid in waking life. the last dream really got to me. It reminded me of how lonely I am. Don't get me wrong - I'm not looking for someone to be dependent on. Simple companionship is what I need. I can't walk all the way alone.

Dreams and dream fragments

Fragment:
I am sitting in a crowded movie theater. I arrived with three other people. The atmosphere is crazy and party - like.

Fragment:
I find myself in the mist of war time preparations. It seems that the thinking is that since I am here, I must be part of the crew, so I can help load the stuff. Someone hands me a large piece of steel and tells me to put it with the rest of the bomb - and I have no idea where anything is. I look and look but don't find anything resembling a bomb. I finally put it down with some stuff that resembles it. Later, a general comes by and picks it up. He shakes his head as he looks at it.











DReam Stuff

Dream:
I am part of a trio, like something out of Xena. We are trying to get home. We run across a man dressed like a roman soldier and bring him with us so that he doesn't tell anyone that he saw us. He keeps saying that he isn't actually a soldier - he is an actor, dressed to play one. We don't really believe him at first.

We find an abandoned house to spent the night in. Everyone finds a spot to sleep and the soldier decides to stay with me. I wake up at one point to find myself lying with my face against his chest and decide that it is rather nice not to spend the night alone for once.

In the morning, we wake up to find the house is nearly surrounded by an army, wearing green fatigues. We figure that the man we captured probably didn't belong in the previous time-frame any more than we did and somehow during the night, we slipped into his time-frame. We discover that the back isn't as heavily guarded as the front and slip out that way and the man walks out the front.

We knock out several of the soldiers in the back and slip into the weeds. They look like a combination of scottish heather and those strong smelling yellow flowers that you see in hayfields. Several other soldiers come after us. We find another old house to hide in - one of us breaks the window but it is too high for us to climb into. We run around to the side, only to find that the 'house' is a huge mailbox. It is large enough to walk into. The general himself is after us ~ and only a few feet away.

(blank)

I and one other of our trio are back in the actor's time - frame. We have figured out a way to be invisble here and walk around without trouble. We find the actor working in a store, quite like K-Mart. We push him along so that we can get him where we can talk to him ~ we want to offer him a chance to come with us (mainly me). I figure that there was nothing between us but I wanted to see anyway. He emphatically says, "no! I like it here!" It seems that since he got back, life has completely turned around for him ~ he is somewhat popular and a bit of a celebrity.

I find myself in one of the check out lines with my mother. A nun is running the register. I am a 'regular' person at the moment. The actor sees me and as if he doesn't recognize me, points to someone behind me and says, "She'll be glad to help you." I feel a bit melancholy.

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