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Moon Phase =nearing half | Weather = Actually tolerable and sunny | Current books =Daybreak - Mary SummerRain
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Quote: "God dwells where ever men let Him in."
- a Hasidic Rebbe when asked where God's place is in the world.
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August 31, 1998
4 a.m...crickets are my music - one throws in an occasional counterpoint to the main melody. I think he's the lead singer.
Papa's birthday is today - I think I'll light a candle for him.
Note on how the experiment has gone so far: as expected, things went marvelously. I must remember this...and gather more evidence.
I've been thinking again. I spent the day with C.M. - there were a few things said that tipped me off to what some of his ideas are about this relationship...it strikes me that he doesn't have a clue about how I feel. Not one. I told him about the problems I've had sleeping lately, due to the facts that my brain won't shut up; general stir-craziness and that I get so lonely in this house alone. I asked him if he understood what I was talking about...the answer was, "The first one, yes I do but the other two I have to say that I don't."
Not a clue. Look out for Colonel Mustard and that candlestick holder...
Today, I got the strong impression that it's time to sit down and really decide what is important to me and what represents the Truth. Write it down. Maybe post it on the website...not so that it's written in stone and unchangable but that it will be clear. I've spent the last decade+ reading, absorbing different ideas about the gods; the god, the goddess, God and Goddess...what this plane is and why we're here...what Reality is...what this planet is...all of these have been distilling and it's time to bottle the product of it.
One kind of funny sidenote: I've noticed that now that I've stepped away from the 'world of Wicca' and witchcraft, my own thoughts and practices are becoming even more 'witch-like'. Perhaps it was the act of getting away the din of sameness that did it. I can finally hear my own inner promptings as to what I need to do - not what 70 different people are telling me to do.
Someone wrote me today asking what the pentagram means to me. He read my response to a question about wearing them in public and was curious. I almost whisked off the 'official' meaning of the pentagram...each of the points represent earth; air, fire, water and spirit...yadda, yadda, yadda. Is this really what the pentagram means to me?
No.
The pentagram, for me, represents several things. While it can stand for the elements + spirit, the first thing I think of is totality. Completeness. To finally be able to know all our Soul's accumulated, multi-faceted glory and that we are a part of god and god is a part of us. The very thing that each and every spirit is striving for.
It also reminds me of our standing in the Sacred Hoop - we are connected at a very deep level to everything. Even the stars - science can tell you that the same stuff that makes up the amino acids in us humans and all life on this planet can be found in stars and comets. In this light the Lakota saying, "All my relations..." takes on new light. Pardon the pun.
Ah...Mister Sun is coming up now and painting the sky purple and orange - I think I'll end this entry. I''ve got to get some rest before I go to class tonight.
On to the next entry
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