O.k...it would seem that there is light at the end of the tunnel, after all. After all these months of feeling so dark, I know the truth of the matter. I'm not dark, after all. Quite familiar with it, yes, but not dark.

I had a very interesting chat tonight. The chat lasted two hours - and seemed as if it lasted only a few minutes. Several things were validated, confirmed, laid out very clearly. I now understand why my friendship with T.H. detonated the way it did. It was most definitely not my fault - or his. What he kept saying that he saw about me was true, in a fashion - but not quite. While he most definitely did see darkness around me (as he and others said, it would go into 'hiding' as soon as you try to psychically read it), it wasn't me.

I also understand why life in general has been the way it has: not due to illness or clinical depression but because something huge and wonderful was getting ready to be born.

I was offered the chance of a lifetime (or several?) tonight. I don't want to say too much about it at this point, except to say that it seems to be exactly what I've been looking for, praying for. It is so huge that I was told to think about it. Think about it hard and pray. Pray hard. Be absolutely sure that it's what I want to do.

At the moment, I am 94% sure that it's right. I was only 92% sure during the chat.

I'm going to be thinking about this for a long time this weekend.