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Moon Phase = waning half | Weather = '30's and clear
Chilly!!! | Current reading = The Artist's Way - Julia Cameron
Week 4! |
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Quote:"Niles, I filled in for you when you were too sick to meet with your 'fear of intimancy' group..."
"I wasn't sick, they were just getting too close."
- Niles and Frasier Crane, 'Frasier'
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December 9, 1998
Today was a strange day. C.M. didn't come over until nearly 3:30 and we went to pick up the car. I wonder if he is finally seeing that we can't continue to pour money into it. The poor car is 14 years old; on its third engine, second tranny, and somewhere over 500k miles. As much as I like the old thing, it's wearing out. This last time, we were going to have the brakes fixed but the mechanic found that seals were blown and something about the back end was just gone. It would've cost $800 to fix. I don't know what to do now.
I talked to J. again today. I like talking to him - he understands my sense of humor for the most part. He was working on frames tonight. He would go to a web page to see how they did it and then go from there. He was joking about 'stealing' the coding for his own site and then the joke started about having someone else's content right in the middle of his TG page...someone said something about having bible quotes in there and how well that would go over with everyone...it was after I got home that I thought of an appropriate 'title' for the whole thing - 'Queens for Jesus' or maybe even 'Queens for Christ'. lol. Perhaps that's going a bit too far...except that it isn't entirely an original idea. There's already a TG minister in L.A. who has a weekly community access show. Ah well.
In a strange way...this has gotten me to thinking about D.H. I wonder how he is? I also wonder what he dressed up as on Samhain...and whether he entered the costume contest at the Connection this year. He does the best costumes...Hmmm...I should also look in Momma's Barbie Bazaars to see if they've accepted any more of his artwork. It's the only reason I'll look at the things. I should also check that website to see if that photo of him dressed as Wonder Woman is still up!
I finally got to talk to Z. tonight after a year of going back and forth by e-mail saying, "We need to chat sometime!" Here we are, on the same mailing list and in the same group and we've never talked that much. lol. I know that it hasn't happened for a reason, though. It wasn't until recently that I was really open to what she has to offer in the way of telling me about what it is to walk a darker path in life. It isn't about 'evil' or some red-skinned horny guy with a tail (the Cherokee in me is still more than a little upset about that!) It's about going within yourself and acknowledging that you - and everyone - has feelings that aren't acted upon but are there, nevertheless. It's literally getting to know and accepting your own underworld - complete with self-made demons and the like - and learning to use it as a part of the greater whole of Self. Not too many people are comfortable with that. A good number of them had rather look to and be blinded by the light. Nothing else exists but fluffy goodness while everyone else dies from insulin shock.
Granted, there is a good deal more to it but that's a good start on a description. This feels right to me. It's time to deal with my own darkness. If I don't, who knows what could happen? I have to deal with the anger (why did I initially type angel?) and stuff that still lurks within. It's time.
Good night Sweetie - sleep well.
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