Man ~ where did the week go? I didn't even realize that I haven't done one entry this week. Sheesh.
I had an epiphany this morning in 2 D Design class. Someone mentioned Mark Rothko and how they just didn't understand his work. At first glance, it simply appears to be broad bands of color with only the simplest form to it. I have to admit that I didn't get it either ~ at first. Once Ms. Mulcahy began to talk about the man and his motivations, it started to make sense. He wanted his work to express a spiritual experience using only the power of color and his paintings show that. They are very Zen and I could 'fall' into the painting once I understood it. I literally had an AHA moment! One painting we saw in class ~ broad blocks of subtly gradient blue on a background of orange ~ could very well be representative of Buddhist enlightenment (as I understand it). Compassion and tranquility (the blue), combined with awareness (the orange).
I'm finding out just how insecure I really am as well. First, I nearly give myself a conniption by worrying over my English Comp paper and this morning I was ready to die from embarrassment in 2 D because I didn't follow the homework instructions 'to the letter'. I understood the homework to be the same as it was in class ~ cut out some random shapes and fit them together in a coherent composition. Only I didn't have such 'random' shapes. I planned out the whole thing and went from there, using triangles and circles. I wish I could put it in here but since 1.) it was turned in to be graded and 2.) I still don't have the compatibility thing worked out with my digital camera, it's just going to have to wait. Anyway, I worried for nothing. Everyone had good things to say about the two I turned in. Even Ms. Mulcahy said that she couldn't determine which was the negative space and which was positive ~ and that was an extrememly good thing! Whoo Hoo! I'm not a miserable failure!!
I also passed through the gauntlet in drawing II ~ today was the first day of drawing from a live model. A live nude model. I thought at the very least I would have a heatstroke from all the blushing. Turns out, as soon as she came in, we were all put to ease by her sense of humor. We had a good laugh at Claire's (the teacher) expense when she said, "Class, this is the model. Model, this is the class..." Several of us felt as if we should have been saying, "Hello Model. I'm Student and I'll be drawing you today." I guess you just had to be there with all the smartasses. We worked on 30 second gesture drawings (those are very fast sketches done to get the shape of the form and let the lines do the expressing ~ not a detailed drawing) It was very different than the gesture drawings I remember from high school ~ Claire pronounced my first ones as 'chicken scratchings'. Ugh.
I do worry about what I'm doing in these classes at times. It goes back to that insecurity thing. Here I am, out of the classroom studio for 12 years (or thereabouts) and I waltz back in to pick up where I left off. I worry that I'm in way over my head. I worry that I've forgotten the most obvious stuff (and I have in some cases.) I worry that I'm just a hack who is delusioned into thinking she may have a chance of being up there with the greats someday. I worry that I have nothing to say with my art. I worry that I may invoke the ire of my fellow students by being too good.
I am one messed up individual. Hehehehehe
One thing I'm not sure that I'm looking forward to is working on my ideas for the set of West Side Story. My first effort was proclaimed to be 'too calming' with all the curves in it. The director wants to rile people up. My problem is that I finally saw the movie...and it was the most boring thing I have seen in a long time. I can tell that times have changed since the '60's ~ the scenes where the Jets and the Sharks break into dance as they fight was just bizarre. It took me two nights to watch the thing and that's with fast forwarding through the songs. Granted, I suppose some of the purpose of watching the thing in the first was missed but hey...I'm glad I worked my way through it in any case. Now I have to come up with another set design and I'm not quite so enthused about it now. Oh well ~ it's interesting to see the process of putting on a stage show and as someone said, it'll look good on my resume.
It'll look good on my resume. Oh what a horrid reason to do anything.
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